I just had the biggest break down everrrrr, I swear!!
I'm addicted to something... all the time. It can be anything!
I spent the past year and a half fighting the thought of an eating disorder... and working out EXCESSIVELY!!! Then it turned into binging and I mean BINGING! A short lived idea of working out again and the past few days I've eaten like food is going out of style. I cannot win. If I have to live in this disgusting body for another day I am going to scream!!
I spent the past hour fighting to see through tear filled eyes TRYING to do dishes... thinking, bringing back old demons. Abusing laxatives, the thought of not eating... I am DESPERATE!
I spent over $300 on supplements, protein, workouts, YOU NAME IT! and I've spent the entire day eating CRAP!!!
Seriously, I feel like I made more progress eating close to nothing and working myself to death!
I'm so disappointed in myself! :[
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