Oh happy day!

Breaks out into song; Oh happy day, oooooh happy day...

I weighed myself this morning against my better judgement... down 3 pounds since Monday, baby!!! :)

That right there just motivates me even more!

Miss thang came to visit yesterday... here I thought I was having my 4th child! What a releif! Anyway, I wasn't able to get my scheduled workout in so it is now on today's agenda!

I felt so guilty about not doing my workout. Like last night, I couldn't... I probably could have, I just didn't feel like hemorrhaging. Other times, I just don't want to, but I feel loads better after I do! I'll keep that in mind for today!

Side note:
Super proud of my sister! She's sticking to her plan like WHOA! WTG Jess!

Try your best and forget the rest!

TRY YOUR BEST AND FORGET THE REST! Yes, I am feeling pretty positive today!

Yesterday's checklist consisted of: Drink at least 80 oz. of water, at least 3 miles on the treadmill, P90X workout and some other random exercises. What did I do? I surpassed my goal for the water and ended up drinking about 120 oz. I did 2 miles on the treadmill instead of 3, ONLY because it was so late [yeah, that kind of sounds like an excuse, ugh!], completed P90X Chest and Back and did some squats, abdominal twists and curls [if you count only 3 for each arm, haha!] STILL, I did what I intended to do and I feel good about that!

Today I'm aiming for at least 80 oz. of water, at LEAST 1 mile on the treadmill and P90X Plyometrics and Ab Ripper X [I didn't realize the Ab Ripper was supposed to be done yesterday, so I'm doing it today]. Really not looking forward to Plyometrics... last time I tried doing it I cried and gave up. NOT TODAY!!! I have to do it!

So why did I title this "Try your best and forget the rest" ? Because last night as I was doing Chest and Back I kept thinking to myself, "I can't do these! I'm using my leg completely for the "assisted" pull ups and I can only do the standard pushups..." then Tony said "Try your best and forget the rest" and I told myself to suck it up and finish the workout... and I did! I know I'm going to need that for today because, like I said, last time I tried today's workout I cried and gave up.

Soo, that's today's motto!

Let's get it done!

Ps. Happy Birthday, Barbie! :)

So much for Tuesday, TODAY is the day!

I was laying so comfortably in my nice warm bed [the boys were coming in from time to time, but even so, I was enjoying not getting up!] when my phone rang. Little did I know it was my sister kicking my cake-eating butt into shape before I had even opened my eyes!!!

Here's the deal! I call her one day with what I expect from her, ie: a mile on the treadmill and a workout of her choice... and she will call me the next, doing the same. Reasonable right?

By the end of today I need to have gotten in at least 3 miles on the treadmill, a P90X workout, random toning exercises and at least 80 oz. of water. " think I can, I think I can..."

I have to! I need to do some quick toning!

I'm actually looking forward to this challenge. A lot of the time, that's all I need! We also decided to blog daily to hold ourselves accountable. Ooooooh yeah! This is really happening!

Am I really on my way to being sexy again!? We shall seeeeee!! :)

Hurry! Hide the cake!

Hi, my name is Nicole and I am addicted to sweets!

I CAN'T STOP EATING!!

I have probably gained 15 pounds over the past few weeks, no joke. I'm disgusting. [I say this as a delicious FUNFETTI cake bakes in my oven!]

I've fallen off the wagon and I can't seem to find it! I'm hoping to find it again on Tuesday... the cake should be gone by then! Yeah, it's that bad!

I've been so stressed and hurting! So many painful memories keep trying to re-surface. I've cried so much the past few nights... I feel like the old me; the crazy me! I don't like her.

I turn to food [I never used to] and when I'm done, I'm sick and so angry with myself! I feel horrible! Forget any type of cute clothes this summer, I guess! THIS needs to be hidden!!! Jeans it is!

Sigh...

Okay, I'm a psycho.

I just had the biggest break down everrrrr, I swear!!

I'm addicted to something... all the time. It can be anything!

I spent the past year and a half fighting the thought of an eating disorder... and working out EXCESSIVELY!!! Then it turned into binging and I mean BINGING! A short lived idea of working out again and the past few days I've eaten like food is going out of style. I cannot win. If I have to live in this disgusting body for another day I am going to scream!!

I spent the past hour fighting to see through tear filled eyes TRYING to do dishes... thinking, bringing back old demons. Abusing laxatives, the thought of not eating... I am DESPERATE!

I spent over $300 on supplements, protein, workouts, YOU NAME IT! and I've spent the entire day eating CRAP!!!

Seriously, I feel like I made more progress eating close to nothing and working myself to death!

I'm so disappointed in myself! :[

Where's my heart at?

To be completely honest, I haven't been putting my heart into this. I want it sooo badly but I give in sooo easily! WHY!?

Jess posted brazillian beauties throughout her kitchen... I e-mailed her pictures so I can do the same. Something's gotta change here!!

I told the kids that there's going to be some changes. They want a snack and ask for chips and cookies... they are 3 and 4 years old... how sad is that? I'm restocking the house with only good foods so when I feel like giving in, I don't reach for crap! Not only that, but I want my family to be healthy! Aiden naturally has a bigger build, I don't want him getting fat.

I've been doing some sarchingg for other things I can be doing with P90x. My Oxygen magazines have a lot of different tips and exercises and online I came across Zuzana Light from BodyRock!

I'm going to keep up with her workouts. I think I'll run at the first part of the day, BodyRock mid-day and P90X in the evenings.

I keep reminding myself that summer is just around the corner! That means shorts and bikinis... and these big thunder thighs are not ready yet!!!

Attack of the GIANT CUPCAKE!

What can I say... bad couple of days. Birthdays and nutrition do not mix... 'nuff said.

Aunt Beth reminded the boys it was Mommy's birthday today and got them all excited. We went to town for a cake mix and lots and lots of sprinkles, came home, ate some chicken balls [aka popcorn chicken, haha] and made a giant cupcake! It was really good [super sweet] and the boys loved doing it for me!

Back to working out and eating super duper clean tomorrow! I'm excited! I've really gotten into working out again and I don't know if it's just me but I can totally see and feel a difference in my arms!

Call me weird but I just love the feel of a good workout; sore, dripping with sweat.

I left town with a new set of dumbells and a new workout dvd;
PERSONAL TRAINING WITH JACKIE

I hope it's good! I'll probably pop in in tomorrow, maybe while the boys are at school...

uuuuugh school! That means another chaotic morning that I am not looking forward to! Sigh, until then, I suppose! Here's to getting back on track!

Who's got their tickets to the gun show?

You better get em fast cause these babies are on fiiiiiiiiiire!

Oh yeah, me and Tony hit it hard tonight! I completed the Back &Biceps workout plus the Ab Ripper X! aaaaaand earlier today I ran off 440 calories on the treadmill! Talk about sweat!!!

I think I'm finally getting the hang of P90X. The mistake I made was going into it thinking I was gonna be a pro... boy, was I wrong! NOW I'm okay with that, it took a few little hissy fits to get me here, but I'm alright, I'm trying my best!

I made my super duper amazzzzing protein shake again tonight!

Recipe as follows:
2 scoops of vanilla whey protein
1 c. cold water
Handful of fresh strawberries (thanks, Mom and Dad! :))
Half of a banana (last night I used a whole one)
1 tbsp. peanut butter
and ICE!

Sooooo good!

Weigh in is tomorrow! I'm kind of scared... I don't know if it's farmiliar thoughts or what but I'm afraid the scale will show me an ugly number. I know I'm working out and taking protein so it's a possibility, I just don't want to fall back into that, everrr! I'll take measurements, too.

'til then, ladies and gents!

BRING IT!

I am not a quitter!!

So, here's the deal. I'm totally intimidated and I need to stop.

Yesterday I woke up soooo sore from Chest &Back. I found my upper body has zero strength BUT [a good but] I can't let that get me down. I really want to build my arms.

Last night was Plyometrics and let me tell you, it was HARD! And to be completely honest, I didn't finish. I took an intentional BREAK, ended up throwing myself a big fat pity party, said "I JUST CAN'T DO IT!", cried a little and gave up with 32 minutes to go. THEN it went downhill from there. I won't go into detail but today I am very disappointed in myself. It won't happen again. Today I am sick, I am tired and so guilty.

Don't get me wrong, I am feeling the 30 minutes I put in, my legs are sore, but I should have finished.

LESSON LEARNED!!

I think until I can build my endurance, I'm going to do some modifying. I am going to get back into my running, do P90's Ab Ripper DAILY with a FEW of the other P90 workouts... just maybe not in order. I used to pump out over 60 squats and now I'm complaining over a few in Plyometrics... I just have to build myself back up. I can't believe I let myself get back to this point. I was fairly fit before... now I'm back to square one.

Oh well, the only person I have to blame is myself.. too many Butterfingers and Oatmeal cream pies.

I feel like such a quitter... BROWNS ARE NOT QUITTERS!!!! I will do this!

I've got some real trouble areas I need to work on. My mid section really needs some tightening. I miss my abs! [Sigh!] My love handles are back with a vengeance, my legs [everything about them; calves, knees, thighs...] are just bad and this butt of mine could use a good old LIFT!

I refuse to look like this for summer. I will be firm again!

Time to kick it up a notch!
Rockin body, here I come!!!

Tony Horton would be ashamed!

Okay, people! I'm here, I'm alive... barely, but I am. Hands callused and shaky, stomach in my throat, what more do you want? I did it! Day 1 P90X - CHEST &BACK COMPLETED!

Here's what went down:

I wake up, tired, but prepared to face the day. Breakfast consisted of a cup of nonfat, strawberry yogurt, 10 almonds and a kiwi. Feeling bad about not pushing play recently, totally intimdated... I know my P90 is sitting in my dresser drawer. Tony's calling me out. I get dressed, shovel toys out of the way and make a big enough path for me to do my thaaang and PUSH PLAY!

Okay, stretching... warming up... hurting already!? There is no way! Then, the real workout begins. Here we go!

Push ups; standard: 17

Pull ups: 6, assisted

Push ups; military style: 15

pull ups: 1 ALL BY MYSELF, 3 assisted

Push ups; wide: 12

Pull ups: FOUR

Push ups; decline: 10

Heavy pants; 20 pound weights: 11

5th set push ups; diamond: 8

Lawnmowers; 20 pound weights: 10

Divebombers: 12

Backflies; resistant band: 5

Pull ups; wide: 5

Push ups; standard: 12

Pull ups; reverse: 2!? REALLY!?

Push ups; military: 6

Pull ups; assisted: GOAL 8, did 8

*Changed a dirty diaper that was calling my name, yeah, I was that desperate!*

Push ups; widefly: GOAL 5, did 15!!! :)
Heavy pants; 20 pound weights: 7

Push ups; decline: 7

Lawn mower; lef; 20 pound weight: 6
Lawn mower; right; 20 pound weight: 10

Push ups; diamond: 7

Backflies; resistant band: 13

Divebombers: 12

Quick little cool down... yeaaaah. Now I know why they called it P90X

I've got blisters on me fingerssss!

I totally could have brought up my breakfast numerous times throughout the workout, but I held it in and made it through. I topped it off with a protein shake made with chocolate whey, 1 c. LF soy milk and fresh strawberries. This time, it wasn't so bad.

Lunch is cooking now, lemon and pepper seasoned chicken breast, brown rice and mixed vegetables...

I don't feel DONE anymore... I may pick another workout later, use my weights or take a run on the treadmill. Whatever I do, I'll be back!

Don't fret, this was not the death of me! I have a pulse again!!!

BRING IT!!